Wifey Wednesday: Find Your Tribe

Hey Glow Getters! I’m calling today Wifey Wednesday! I’m no marriage expert; however, I wanted to share one of the many things I’ve learned in the past 11 years I’ve been married: Every wife needs her tribe! Today’s post will break down what I think that tribe can look like, plus highlight one community I’m so grateful to be apart of that you can join, too.

As a result of the pandemic, I began hosting a monthly series on Instagram Live called Fourth Friday’s with Friends, where I get together online with my IG friends and feature special guests for girl talk and good tips on the selected topic of the month. During my June chat with Rhea Plummer, the director of Fab Wives, we talked about the beauty that can be found in online and in-person communities like Fab Wives. Not only can these sort of communities be a great social outlet, but they can also be an added source of accountability and support. I truly believe there's power in unity and community, which drew me to Fab Wives a few years ago. Now, as a co-director of the DMV Division, I endeavor to support the local DMV wife tribe by creating spaces where wives can connect and cultivate meaningful conversations and relationships, as well as obtain valuable resources. As a wedding and event planner, I naturally love a good party or get together. Thus, I truly look forward to girl time and marriage resources at our quarterly Fab Wives meetups.

Photo: Amber Iris Photography

Speaking of meetups…many of us could use a break from quarantine life or just an opportunity to connect with others safely. If you’re in the DMV, you are welcome to come relax and recharge social distance style at Robin Hill Farms & Vineyard on Saturday, July 18th at 4:30pm. This is an unique opportunity to connect with local wives safely, while enjoying a delectable charcuterie box by Arlia Board Co., wine accompaniments from the vineyard and of course an afternoon of girl talk. After months of quarantine, we would love to connect safely, so grab your masks, picnic blankets, lawn chairs and tents and meet us there! For safety precautions, there are limited tickets available for this event.

So, I’ve already highlighted one example of a valuable tribe for wives. However, this is not the end all be all. A few other people that I’ve found can be assets in a wife’s tribe are:

Couples Crew - Having other couples that you and your spouse can hang out with, talk to, laugh with and support is crucial! In many instances, you and your spouse likely vibe well with your best friend and her husband. In other cases, it might be couples you met at an event or elsewhere. Whether it’s a small double date, a large couple’s game night, or an intimate heart to heart with 1 other couple, consider making time for face time (or virtual time) with your couples crew at least quarterly.

Unbiased Community - When it comes to wanting an unbiased perspective, some find connecting and opening up with others who they haven’t known their whole lives to be somewhat easier than maybe others deeply connected to them. This is when groups like Fab Wives provide a ton of value. Aside from the local meetups and groups, there is a free Facebook community and a membership program, where you can connect with wives all over the U.S., and in many cases get unbiased views on a wide range of topics and great advice.

Therapist/Counselor/Coach - I’m so glad that the stigma around therapy is easing up. Our mental health is so important. Whether to discuss personal and/or marriage matters, a therapist is a valuable investment. Additionally, during challenging seasons, marriage counseling or coaching is highly advised to engage in with your spouse. A professional third party can be the breath of fresh air needed to bring resolve during a tough time. Counseling can be a proactive tool as well instead of just reactive if difficulty arises.

Accountability Parter(s)/Sister Circle - Similar to counseling, an accountability partner or sister circle can be a proactive way to get support with life and/or marriage goals. If you are blessed enough to connect with an amazing sister(s) who is in a similar space as you or even those who might be in a space you desire, it is wonderful to be in alignment together, support one another, hold each other accountable, and to share the good, bad, funny and everything in between. This is the group where you can shoot the breeze, but also go beyond the surface and keep it real.

Family and Friends - This group should be a given. The ones who’ve known you forever, who were there when you said I do, they still matter after you say I do, and the hope is they continue supporting your union through the years. Keep up with those girls nights , keep up with that quality time with family and more. Our marriages our important, but so are our other relationships, too. With regards to sensitive marriage matters and family and friends, use wisdom in what you share. The petty argument you had last week, may not be the best thing to tell that relative that will hold it against your spouse after you’ve gotten over it. Alternatively, you may have a close friend who can be that trusted confidant when you need to vent in a non judgmental space.

Photo: Vernon Davis Photography

Of course there are more people who are valuable to wives and honestly many on this list truly applies to women in general. Let me know your thoughts on this tribe round up and other categories you would add to this list.

Have a glowing day!

Xo,

Shalyce