Grace, Grind and Growth
I talk a lot about growth and goals. Today, I want to talk a little bit about another g word — grace. We all should hold ourselves to a standard of grace and not perfection. In fact, Grace not Perfection by Emily Ley is one of my favorite books. Often times we are way harder on ourselves than we are on others. I'm working hard to give myself grace, just like I do others. However, I also recognize the dangers of too much grace. If we're not careful, sometimes grace turns into excuses for stagnation. Today, I want to share some of my perspectives on how grace and grind play into our personal and professional growth.
MORE GRACE
Grace is something I have to extend myself daily. God grants me grace, so it’s no reason why I can’t offer the same to myself. One of the biggest ways I offer grace to myself is understanding I can do a lot, but not everything. I wear many hats, from mom and wife, to entrepreneur and employee. With that in mind, there is always something left on my daily to do list undone. Instead of beating myself up about it, I have grown to accept it and give myself grace when I don’t check all the boxes. I do so much day in and day, and I deserve grace and rest, as I live my life and run my race.
I’ve shared previously that my father passed last December. During that time and the immediate weeks that followed, I had to give myself a lot of grace and space to grieve. That meant taking much needed time away from social media, my business and everything. A break I honestly needed anyway. When I had the strength to return back to work, I had to give myself a lot of grace as I navigated changing paces — from one day feeling energized and wanting to “show up” and share and add value to other days struggling to get out of bed and wanting to shut it all out. Grace is needed to get us through tough times.
As a mompreneur, I also find it important to give myself grace. My children are my greatest blessing and mothering them is my greatest assignment. However, being a mom is not all I am. I am Shalyce, and I also like pursuing my passions, enjoying me time, and more. As a mom and entrepreneur, I give myself grace daily and here are some examples of how that’s shown up:
After managing virtual learning with my kids while simultaneously managing my businesses and work tasks, I give myself grace a couple nights a week if I don’t feel like cooking and decide to order out. Some pizza, a movie and a round of Uno with my family is a wonderful night in my book.
If I have an event for Sensational Soirees, I try to give myself grace if my son has a game that same day that I in turn have to miss instead of having mom guilt over it. I remind myself of the many other games that season that I didn’t miss, and that my work is valuable to myself, my clients and financially to our family. I am putting this into action in real time as this exact scenario is happening this weekend.
When I forget something minor, I give myself grace because it’s honestly so many things I always have to remember. I make a mental note to consistently write things down or set an alarm, so I don’t have to keep so much pressure on my memory. It’s also a reminder to say no and make realistic to do lists.
In this season, I’m working on being more gentle with myself by granting myself more grace. I deserve it just because, but especially as I pour out so much daily. I deserve grace, and you do, too.
MORE GROWTH
In our growing seasons and spurts, grace is still needed! In fact, I believe grace is always needed. However, as I mentioned at the beginning of this post, too much grace can turn into excuses, which can leave us stagnant — the opposite of growth. When it comes to achieving our goals or growing in certain areas, we have to hold ourselves accountable to do the work.
I recently had a meeting with my accountability partner, and I shared how I hadn’t been taking the action needed on a specific goal. I’ve literally been dragging my feet for months on taking the steps needed to achieve this goal. In this area, I have been giving myself way too much grace. After our call, I decided to give myself a deadline because too much time has been spent in limbo.
In thinking back on some of the big goals I’ve achieved, to get to many of them required grind. My version of grind is not to be confused with glorifying busy or an unhealthy pace of going without rest. However, I’ve learned that things will not just magically fall into my lap without action on my part. Faith + Works is what it takes. Dreaming, planning and then doing. Taking deliberate steps one by one. Doing the work.
When I’ve given myself too much grace it’s usually a cover up for fear of some sort. I have to remind myself often that I’m equipped and that everything I need is within me, within reach or on the way. Whenever that fear creeps in, I have to also remind myself of the times where grind has paid off and led to growth. One great example of this is my Fourth Friday’s with Friends Instagram Live Series. I started this series in March of last year, and have consistently hosted this series monthly since then, with the exception of July for my husband’s birthday and Christmas — and myself and my community rightfully gave me grace for that. This series has proven to be a huge area for growth in more ways than one:
Developing monthly topics and discussion points is not always easy, but I pushed myself to dig deep and develop conversations that would resonate with my community, while adding lots of value.
Talking live is definitely not always easy! But I’ve leaned into pushing past nervousness and sharing my voice, refining my speaking skills, and letting my unique personality shine through.
In hosting the series, it became clear that I have a gift for creating these spaces where glow getters feel seen, motivated and celebrated. It solidified for me that I have to keep leaning into my zone of genius.
And because I limited the excuses, even in spite of fear, I have seen so much growth. From growing my community, to having conversations with amazing guests to impacting my community in such meaningful ways, and really growing as a woman and entrepreneur
So yes, we all need grace daily and to rest and refuel, but don’t forget about the grind that is also needed to achieve your goals.
Now, let’s chat! How can you show yourself more grace today? In what ways can you take action to experience the growth you desire. Share with me in the comments.
Have a glowing day!
Xo,
Shalyce