How Being a Mom of 4 Has Taught Me to Embrace Grace Over Perfection
Motherhood is one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever experienced, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. I’m a wife, mom of four (toddlers to teens), content creator, community builder, and I work full-time. Some days, the schedule is packed from sunrise to bedtime. Some nights, I don’t even get to sit down until 10 PM. But I wouldn’t trade it. It’s hard, yes. But it’s also beautiful.
What I’ve learned in this season is simple but powerful. I don’t have to be perfect to be a great mom. I just have to keep showing up with love, intention, and grace.
Real Life Doesn’t Require Perfection
There’s a lot of pressure on Black millennial moms. We carry so much — emotionally, mentally, financially — and often do it while trying to maintain peace in our homes, presence in our relationships, and purpose in our work. When you’re raising littles and bigs at the same time, you quickly learn that no two days look the same.
Trying to do it all and do it perfectly will wear you out. I’ve learned to give myself permission to pause. To breathe. To remember that I’m doing the best I can.
What Giving Myself Grace Looks Like
Grace for me looks like:
Reminding myself that I’m learning too, just like my kids
Asking for help when I need it, and receiving it without guilt
Letting go of trying to map out the next 5 years and just trusting God for today’s daily bread
Celebrating the small wins and giving myself credit without needing applause
Not over-explaining my boundaries, especially when they’re rooted in love
Grace is what makes this all manageable. It reminds me that rest is productive. That presence is enough. And that my love is deeply felt and impactful.
The Beauty of Everyday Motherhood
I shared something along these lines on Instagram for Mother’s Day, and it’s a perfect snapshot of what motherhood looks like in my world:
Motherhood is...
Daycare pickups that come with two smiling faces running up to you
Playing old-school music in the car and hearing your teen sing along one day
Teaching your daughter how to play Speed, and now she beats you every time
Saying “I love you” daily and often
Praying over your children, not just when they’re sick or struggling but just because
Making decisions your kids may not understand yet, but you know are best
Being willing to grow and get it right, even after getting it wrong
Showing up even when you're tired, because their joy matters to you
Taking a moment for yourself and hiring a sitter because you matter too
Cheering loudly at games, recitals, and award ceremonies
Saying “yes, baby?” even when your name has already been called 12 times in the last hour
Creating playlists for your youngest to enjoy every morning
Helping your son explore his love for cooking, then watching him get into a culinary program
Buying concert tickets for your daughter, and an outfit for her before you find your own
Knowing the difference in how each of your children receives love, correction, and affirmation
Getting jumped by toddlers and loved on by toddlers, back to back
Taking gems from your own amazing mama and using them to raise your own
Laughter, love, growing pains, and so much joy
This is motherhood in real life. No filter. No highlight reel. Just love in motion.
To the Mom Who’s Doing Her Best
If you’re juggling work, purpose, motherhood, and everything in between, I see you. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed or unsure but still kept going, you’re not alone. You don’t have to prove your worth through perfection. You already are worthy — as you are, right now.
You are the glue and the grace. You are the safe space and the strong foundation. You are allowed to be both ambitious and present, structured and spontaneous, soft and strong.
This season might be full, but it’s not without fruit.
Keep Going, Growing, and Glowing
Motherhood is teaching me to grow with my kids. To learn with them, laugh with them, and give myself grace the same way I give it to them. And honestly, I’m proud of the mom I’m becoming.
So if you needed a sign today, here it is:
You’re doing better than you think.
You’re showing up in ways that matter.
You’re not behind.
You’re not alone.
You’re doing a great job, mama.
Let’s keep choosing grace over perfection, together.
What would you add to the motherhood is list? Share in the comments.
Keep glowing,
Shalyce